The Perfect Birthday – Targets to a more social me

Shit!  It’s my birthday, I am 31 today – on the negative time is ticking away.  The positive – for the last three years each birthday was better than the last one.

I did the big one last year, expecting my closest friends to spend time, money and health in a strange city half-way across the country just because I was squeezed out on  the 19th March 1983.

So this year I toned it down, which I regreted as I realised despite all the self-improvement I go on about, my social life could really do with re-invigorating.

Leading up to my birthday I decided to set some ‘social’ targets, with the intention that by the time I am 32, I will have got through these.

Have a party

Previously I have had a load of money but been living with my parents or my own place, but no money.

This year I have both!  I think it is time I put on a party and invite some of the friends I have made over the years!  Hopefully it will be better than this…

Make a new friend

Since I left university I have not really made a new friend, therefore depressingly I have seen my social networks gradually disappear or have friends who have gone on to follow their own dreams.

I would like to add to my social circle with a new friend.  That is to have someone whose number is in my phone, I see at least on a monthly basis and who I share social occasions with.

This obviously rules out online friends, people I work with and acquaintances of friends.

Spontaneously have a conversation with strangers

I was reading Day Bang a book that was of interest to me because it was about talking to women outside of the night scene and sober.

In public I see random strangers approach and talk to people, they aren’t told to fuck off, usually a small conversation is initiated, before they go back to their separate lives.

Therefore I want to make having spontaneous short conversation with strangers a habit.  I want it to be perfectly natural so that I develop my confident and rid my approach anxiety.

Try a new country with a friend

I am fortunate to have done a lot of travelling in my life.  A lot of this I have done alone.

Although I have enjoyed this my main regret is that a friend has not been on hand to share the experiences.

There are many countries I have not been to and I want my next new country to be shared with a friend.

Have a short-term/casual relationship

My last relationship was a major disaster, it destroyed my confidence and it took me over a year to restore the belief I was attractive.

The worst thing was I was needy and pathetic, but I feel I have learned from these major turnoff’s.

I want to have a short-term/casual relationship so that  I can finally move on.

Share my knowledge publicly

I love watching TED talks.  I fantasize about doing a talk in the same way other men dream they are rock stars.

I have started sharing my thoughts through online blogging, however I would like to transfer this to the real world and start doing some public speaking.

What better way to develop my social skills than share what I know to an audience.  Maybe one day I will be half as good as this…

Be creative for my next birthday

My birthday’s seem to go from different levels of tedium dependent on the choice – see a band (unoriginal), go to the movies (boring), have a meal with family (can you say no social life?).

For my 32nd birthday I want to be creative and do something a bit different.  At the moment I have no idea what, but that is the purpose, I have one year to work something out….


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