A key value of mine is the great pleasure taken from making the life of others better.

But my relationship with people can vary, dependent how they treat me.

When I worked in a library I was in a role on a standard minimum wage, working inconvenient shifts, no prospect – but the customers made it better than any corporate career.

Where else in the world could I get in conversation with an elderly Song of Ice and Fire fan complaining about George RR Martin being a “lazy fat bastard who needs to hurry up and finish his books because I don’t have many years left to live and I want to know how it finishes…”

If libraries weren’t on the front line of government cuts, I’d happily still be doing the job now.

Despite this there were people who could make me love or hate the role, dependent if they were nice or a prick.

This, as a rule of life is how my mood gets impacted – by other people.

If I have a bad day and I experience nastiness, then I can question my faith in humanity.

However, if I have experience with people being nice, then I have a great faith in people.

It was from these people I learnt…

How to be a Better Human

Treat others how you would like to be treated.

Some people demand respect but don’t give any out.  A philosophy of kindness is a good start if you want people to be kind to you.

Do things without expecting reward.

In a role with no promotions, bonuses, everything nice a person does is without expecting something out of it.

Although rewards can be great motivators, taking these away can be a great equaliser to find who is a genuine nice person and who isn’t

If you can – give to support others.

If you can’t take only what you need and don’t take the kindness of others for granted.

I say this from a position of both struggle and fortune.  If you can give please do so.

If you can’t, then don’t take the giving of others for granted, if you take too much from people this can impact their faith in generosity and not wanting to give anymore

Take the Kennedy approach

“ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

John F. Kennedy

I always like this popular soundbite from John F. Kennedy as it encompasses two different attitudes:

The person who thinks they are owed something and the person who recognises it is inevitably up to them.

Do things for your family, community, country…  Work hard, keep persisting,… expect little.

Don’t use the distance and anonymity presented by the Internet to talk to people in ways you would never dare to offline.

So many people on the Internet are spoiling for a fight, there is something about that protective barrier that brings out something ugly in people.

This actually isn’t a new thing… working in customer service I often experienced customers who were rude and argumentative over the phone, who turned passive and inoffensive in person.

Whatever technology you are using, don’t use this to talk tough if you can’t back that up in person.

Make a serious effort to live without hate.

I don’t believe people are born to hate.

There are people in this world who have different opinions to me, but I don’t hate them for it.

Hate creates division – seek to understand.

Even if they are wrong, a person whose views you listen to are more likely to see your point of view and potentially change than a person who is shouted down and told they are a horrible person.

I used to hate some people who wronged me, as I’ve grown as a person I’ve learnt to let go of this and as a result feeling the drop of a massive burden.

Forgive the mistakes of others.

Humans make mistakes.  If someone has committed an error then don’t persecute them for it.

If they are trying to mend their previous mistakes, don’t beat them up over what they have done in the past.

For the Love of People…

I consider myself an introverted personality type, I like having time to myself, but overall situations like being in lockdown made me realise how much I miss being around them.

In 2021 make it your resolution to be a better person everyday.

Do you have any tips to be a better human?  Let me know below…

Happy New Year, Wishing you all the best in your success:

James @ perfectmanifesto.com

A book I recommend to make you a better person is Jordan Peterson’s “12 Rules for Life” check it out!

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