On expectations to be who we were, and acting on how we want to be remembered
Welcome to the Perfect Manifesto Sunday Reflections.
This post is inspired by the week note format that many professionals use to reflect on their working week, except in these reflections I’ll be sharing various observations from all parts of my life, covering a range of topics, in short snippets that don’t quite justify fitting a full post.
Who we were
I’m meeting up with some old friends from university this week.
It’s been five years since we last saw each other when the world was a bit different.
Although we were good friends who hung out daily, there were a few awkward moments, when conversation dried up, and we didn’t click like we used to.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, we graduated nearly fifteen years ago, we’ve all done so much, growing in our own ways that it would be wrong if we all thought, acted and talked like we used to.
Of course my friends are going to be different people to who they used to be, I know I am.
Although I’m really look forward to seeing them again, I do worry now and again that I’m going to feel the need to put on an act, to try and please them by pretending to be the person they remember me as to avoid the awkwardness.
What if they’re disappointed I’m old, and boring and would rather be in bed by ten?
My strategy is to respect the past, recognise we’re in the now, and not get offended if anyone speaks and acts like their talking to the old me.
How do you want to be remembered?
I recently heard a poem at a funeral, I can’t remember what it was called or who it was by, so I can’t quote what I heard correct, but it’s theme was around the actions we take in life, and it’s closing verse ended with the line how do you want to be remembered?
The last year of my work has been difficult, it’s the second time in five years I’ve been part of an “organisation restructure” so it’s easy to not have your heart in it all the time when facing these situations.
Despite uncertainty, frustrations, lack of direction I realised a while ago although there are outside forces beyond my control, I had full agency over how I choose to react.
In such times I’ve responded with enthusiasm, humour, and support, anything I can do to help others feel a little bit more positive in darkened times.
Although I’ve secured the future of my own job, other colleagues haven’t been so lucky and are now exploring alternative options.
I want to see people to be happy.
I want people to live a more fulfilling life.
And most of all I want to see people succeed in whatever they choose to pursue.
These are the values I try to get across in this blog, and I’ve always hoped I can execute in my life too, so it was nice to get some feedback from a colleague I’ve been supporting to get through this.
“honestly couldn’t have asked for a better colleague! Thank you for your time everything. This is the kindest thing any colleague has ever done”
Kindness… that is how I want to be remembered.
Thank you for reading
Wishing you the best in your success
James @Perfect Manifesto
Perfect Manifesto 
I would not want to act like I did many years ago when meeting a group of friends or colleagues from that era, James. I’d be me when meeting up with anyone from the past. And if that means they think I’ve gone all boring, so be it. ‘I am who I am and who I am needs no excuses’ – A quote from one of my favourite songs.
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“How do we want to be remembered?”
My father lived with the thought of creating a legacy and that has influenced me in my life. That thought speaks to creating something bigger than us, something that serves others and can be of help to many, even to generations.
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