One of the biggest challenges people face when deciding whether to chase a dream, is the inherent fear that people will laugh and judge you for your efforts.
That is not the case.
It’s much worse than you think.
When you choose to pursue a dream, you have to accept that it’s a journey you must take alone –
No encouragement.
No support.
Not even anyone watching you in anticipation that they get the satisfaction they will get to mock you in failure.
You have a lonely path where you have to be prepared to play all roles to motivate and inspire you to keep going.
There is something both demoralising, but also liberating that people are too consumed in themselves to have the time and energy to put you down….
Pursue your dream, or don’t, no one cares either way.
If you want it bad enough, you’ll try regardless.
Wishing you the best in your success.
James @Perfect Manifesto
Copyright © 2023 James M.Lane perfectmanifesto.com
Perfect Manifesto 
This is so true! Not only with people you see “in person,” but with “friends” on social media as well. I even see it with fellow writers/bloggers. I try to be supportive and leave thoughtful replies, but seldom is it reciprocated. Yes, it’s a lonely path, but what are we without our dreams?
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I know some have different experiences with the blog community, but ultimately we’re on our own! I used to take part in the ‘share your latest post’ threads on Twitter, but found a lot were sharing and not bothering to read others work so it put me off.
With blogging, not only are you are writer, you have to be a motivator to keep going!
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Yes, that’s for sure. And I completely agree that unless someone is actually reading what we write, what’s the use of their “liking” or “following”? There’s way too much ego-stroking on the internet, especially since social media came along. Collecting likes and followers doesn’t mean much if no one is really engaging. But people keep focusing on those numbers.
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This was an interesting read, James, especially given that one of my dreams was to be a published author. If it were not for the help, encouragement and support I had from many in the blogging world, I’d never have made that dream come true, so I’m pleased to say I had plenty of support and help.
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Hi Hugh, that is awesome to hear you’ve had encouragement and support to be a published author.
One of my experiences with blogging (from the outside/offline world I might add), is I had the fear that people would laugh and judge me for the words I write, that I’ve kept it pretty private that I’ve been doing this for the last 8+ years.
As I’ve grown more confident, I’ve been sharing my blog to people I know offline, and had the disappointing ‘reality’ where people don’t say much/anything, which inspires the feeling of isolation, and needing to find the personal self-motivation to keep going.
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I see that a lot in the blogging world where some readers don’t want to engage with anyone, so they’ll add those awful comments I’ve mentioned before, like ‘Great post’ or ‘This was a great read.’
If I can’t think of at least two sentences that add some value to the contents of a post, then I’ll move along, but it seems some readers do not want to engage, James. But it works both ways. It is a shame when a reader adds a comment that shows they want to discuss the contents of a post, but all the host does is reply with a ‘thank you.’ When it happens to me, I know that’s my cue not to bother leaving comments on that blog anymore.
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I have found it to be very true for the most part. I thought it was just me, that maybe people didn’t think that I could or would be able to do it, or that they just didn’t want me to succeed.
I suppose there is comfort in knowing that it wasn’t about me, it they’re just indifferent because they’re caught up in their own life.
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I’ve used this approach to explain to people who have fears of joining the gym because they’ll get laughed at, that most people are so wrapped up in their own progress, that no one really notices what you’re doing.
It is comforting taking this approach, because for people like me, who are have grown up with a bit of insecurity, we imagine there are people around to judge, and make fun in failure.
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You’re so right! It is very comforting actually! It does make trying something new a lot easier!
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I have and continue to have plenty of support in trying to achieve my dreams, and always have. Maybe I am lucky.
I have however lost a couple of long-term friendships when progress I have made upsets the equilibrium of the friendship, but is probably more to do with their own issues than with whatever I am trying to achieve. The loss of these friendships that have lasted decades through some tough times saddens me.
But I have to disagree that no-one cares James, many are indifferent but the support I have has been pivotal to everything I have done.
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Thanks Paul for the comment.
I’ve been reading something today about friends and them supporting your goals, one of the notable takeaways was like you say – issues have come from their own issues rather than what you are trying to achieve. I think the worst part with friends is when they belittle your dreams and they don’t even realise they’re doing it. “is everyone trying to be a writer?” was a comment I always remember hearing when I started blogging, and it encouraged me to keep what I was doing to myself.
It is the indifference that makes the difference, I guess that about managing my own expectations on the support I expect!
I do agree with the support you do get being pivotal – that from my own perspective is a small number of my social circle, but the support from my wife for example has been all the encouragement I need to keep trying.
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It’s hard isn’t it when friends do belittle, even with a seeming throwaway comment such as quoted. I did a video for one of my songs a couple of years ago which I worked very hard on and the response from my friend began by saying he watched it but he hadn’t wanted to, which was bad enough. But then he went on to say I should have pictures of cats and llama’s in it to make it more popular. I was shattered by that, I couldn’t even think of how to respond. I eventually did respond by telling him he should get some stimulation in his life and we haven’t spoken in over two years since. It’s horrible.
So you’re right, it does make you want to draw in on telling people your dreams to protect your ambitions. Which makes those who do support us more special, and we should always value them.
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So true. It is a lonely place.
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Yes, I think people can support you, but ultimately getting it done is up to you!
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Short and to the point – everyone’s too busy to care. We’ll not everyone, your nearest and dearest can be counted on if you have any. Otherwise we have to be self starters, be our cheerleaders, coaches, and task master.
Great Post James. Hooe ou and your family are well and life is treating you well.
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Thank you! I think it’s that expectation of getting mass admiration/judgement from others, that makes it feel isolated.
Your loved ones are the main people to have on board, just one of your nearest and dearest on board with what you’re doing can fight off any doubters, or the loneliness of trying to get it done alone!
Thank you Bella, life is good, but busy! Hope you are well!
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😊
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