Dear Parents,

You’re doing a better job than you think.

The difference between your day job a child, is your kids are a responsibility that’s part of you 24/7.

Whenever I talk to my wife after a bad day with the children, I always remind her that we’re not that bad parents, it’s not like we’re around them drunk all the time or abusing them.

When I type that out on paper I realise it’s a pretty low bar to set, but the point I’m trying to make is you recognise all the good things you are doing, and stop dwelling on all the petty mistakes.

Focus on doing what you can with them.

Don’t worry about their latest school project not being up to standard – that’s just a high expectation set by yourself because you want everyone else to see the same brilliance in them that you do.

Remember that the idea is that they’re still learning – that’s the point of the these tasks to help them learn and grow.

Besides these challenges will be forgotten in a month, so don’t feel the need to cheat and do it for them.

Be compassionate to yourself on those day you do lose your composure.

There are times your kids will push your buttons to the limit, or nights they’ve kept you so you approach each day feeling sleep deprived, and lacking patience.

Everyone has those bad days where we have regrets and wish we’d handled it difference.

Overlook those days you don’t give your children the attention they deserve.

Those moments where you’re mind is wandering and you get lost in your phone, or pushed to your absolute limits and just want you space.

Yes these moments don’t last forever, but you should forgive yourself for when your not as mentally present as you’d like.

Rather than dwelling on all the things you didn’t do, or unable to give, remember everything you do give.

Think about that commitment to your crappy job that you don’t want to do, but you do to put food on the table and a roof over heads.

Don’t feel bad because your daughter doesn’t want to do ballet anymore – you can’t force them to have interests.

Don’t get frustrated because your son doesn’t share your hobbies – as much as we want them to be, you shouldn’t expect your kids to become a mini you.

Don’t be afraid to let them fail, you can’t expect them to be on top all the time – remember your growth was shaped by your own life experiences.

Most of all, remember the absolute love that you have for your children everyday.

The desire for them to succeed, be happy, and become everything they want to be.

Well done parents,

You’re doing a better job than you think.

Inspired by a conversation with my wife – don’t let a bad day, make you think you’re a bad parent.

Wishing you the best in your success,

James @Perfect Manifesto

Copyright © 2023 James M.Lane


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