With everything going on, the pressures have been building inside.

On Sunday a hollowness overwhelmed me – have you ever felt so low, yet you can’t explain why?

An outsider looking at all my problems would say they are insignificant (and I would agree with you).

No one’s dying, money’s no longer an issue, nor has anyone suffered a painful end to a marriage.

It’s all the insignificant bits that mount up into a collective, which for an odd moments prevents you sleeping quite as peacefully as your normally would.

It all started when I returned from the gym, sat with the kids, oblivious to my feelings as my eyes glinted over staring at the lounge wall that required a much needed paint job.

My wife wandered into the room, and noticed I had “a face on” as she liked to say.

I gave a lost shrug, as if to say “you know…”

But she didn’t know.

“Well, I guess it’s this house, I’m sick of it…”

That came from nowhere, I thought to myself.

“And what are you sick of exactly.”

“Well, you know I don’t really need to tell you about my frustrations with the wall…, then there is the garden…, then there are all the jobs that need doing… and I’m so useless at DIY…”

This went on for a while.

“You’re holding a very negative mindset at the moment…”

And for that statement, I thought of my blog – how did I get to this stage?

When I started writing over 8 years ago, it was done with a purpose to find meaning and direction in my life – with it, I would preach and share my own learnings, and experiences, including observations on thinking more positively.

And Something I firmly believe in – you shouldn’t worry about what you can’t control, I was not adhering to.

And what I can control, my lack of motivation, I’d been doing nothing about it.

How did I get to this stage?

From talking about my feelings, I felt a load of the pressure lift from my shoulders –

“A burden shared, is a burden less…” or whatever that saying is.

For a moment I took time away to stop wallowing in self-pity, and thought about solutions, or just letting go of what was out my power.

I ignored that my house looked like a tip.

Stopped moaning of the fact my neighbours are adding another ugly block to their house.

That there is so much to do and so little time.

Or that everyday I’m overexposed to depressing news that has little to no consequence to me, or just nothing I can stop.

Lessons from the past month:

  1. Allow time for self-care.
  2. Reflect and learn from your problems and mistakes.
  3. Allow time to regroup and plan what you’ll do different.
  4. Most important of all – remember to be more compassionate towards yourself.

Life doesn’t feel easy at the moment, but I… we’ll get through it.

Because what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Wishing you the best in your success,

James @Perfect Manifesto

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16 thoughts on “What Doesn’t Kill You…

  1. I agree with what Tamara says about visiting new surroundings. Maybe a family day out somewhere?
    Also, I always find my mood lifts when I cross things off a ‘to-do’ list. The same happens after decluttering and visiting a charity shop with what I’ve removed (or the local dump with stuff that can’t be recycled or donated).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Hugh, a visit to new surroundings would be good.

      I need to restart my to-do list, I got to a point where the ‘to-do’s’ kept growing and never getting sorted, so after a while I found it difficult to look at.

      A good clear out is a great call – I’ve had a tip run and filled my grass bin after a good bit of gardening – it felt a good weekend.

      Thank you for your tips Hugh.


      1. It sounds like you already started, James. Good for you.

        Something else I do is sell stuff on eBay. It’s hard to believe how much some of the stuff goes for, but seeing the empty (once full) drawers and cupboards gives me the best feeling.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. eBay is really good though I do struggle to get time to make it a regular thing – and a particular user haggling over price and delivery abroad put me off it a bit.

        It is surprising how much stuff goes for, I had a clearance of comics and graphic novels and because I’d paid a bit for them thought it would be get some of the money back. I got users making me direct offers on some thing 3 – 5 times what I’d originally paid!


      3. I don’t offer delivery outside of the UK, James. If anyone bids from outside the UK, I cancel their bid. It can be a hassle, especially when I clearly state on listings that I won’t send goods outside the UK, but when you’re getting bids that exceed what you paid for the item, that ‘feel good’ feeling kicks in.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I decision to adopt that policy too, the guy was being too picky over an item that was only £8 that I got a bad gut feeling that this would be the start of problems – didn’t help I also found from a Google search a few stories from people of the country claiming items as lost!


      5. That goes on a lot on eBay, James. Buyers claiming they never received the goods. That’s why I always send stuff by registered post. It costs more, but I pass the cost on to the buyer.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve found that when I get into a funk, I need to sit with myself for a while and disco er what is really going on with me below the surface that I have been ignoring because if the business of life. Often I find I have ignored self care. Sometimes I see I have gone too long with adventure, so I need to do something new, see somewhere new, or just explore somewhere I know but do it with a fresh view. We each have our different issues we grapple with of course, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to pin down what’s going on. How about taking a workshop to explore something new and purposfully allow your mind to wander a bit, then journal about the thoughts that surface? Sometimes a new environment can trigger deeply buried things to surface, nowhere we can then look at them.


    1. Thanks Tamara that’s really good advice. I’ve started by finishing work a bit earlier and done some things that I’ve been holding off. Now I’m doing much of nothing, enjoying the sun, and appreciating your comment. I’m going to list your ideas and have a go at exploring- thank you!


      1. I’m smiling!

        The “angstiness” we feel doesn’t come from nothing, it comes from somewhere, and sometimes we just need to get quiet within ourselves to be able to listen!

        Let me know how it goes for you!

        Liked by 1 person

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