Something that’s been bothering me recently is the wall at the front of my house.

Up until about a month ago everything was fine with it, it was a good upstanding front wall that did it’s job of providing a boundary between the pavement and the soil and plants that made up the front garden.

My problems with the wall all began when a delivery driver from a well-known online retailer that started out as a book seller, and pretty much sells everything now, reversed into said wall.

Not that I can prove any of this except for circumstance and neighbours commenting on erratic driving around this time.

That’s a tedious detail I won’t go into as I’ve discussed matters more than enough with police, the retailer, and the claims company representing the retailer.

Over the past month I’ve felt down about it, reminding myself of something I’ve said to many:

“Don’t worry about what you can’t control”

Other times I’ve felt angry, not only threatening to do no business with them again, but committing the ultimate war against them – by writing angry letters about them to the local newspapers.

(I only turned 40 two months ago, and realise now I’ve descended into the type of tactics fitting of my dad).

On a particular day feeling aggrieved about being messed around, I felt a gym session was in order to burn off some of the tension.

As I processed my way through some violent thrusting on the rowing machine, and slinging some weights about I became more angry thinking what chance I, a lower middle class middle aged man with a blog do against a global multi-billion dollar company.

A picture of a broken wall (the weeds have been cleared since the picture was taken!)

The writing an angry letter to the paper came back to me, and I begun to wonder how I could elevate it?

I could write to my local MP?… no I can do more…

Let’s work to my strengths and utilise the power of the written word to create:

  • Scaving, sarcastic reviews,
  • A blog, which would focus it’s message on all the bad things company does.
  • Satirical social media accounts mocking it’s business practices.

Perhaps it was the workout, but by the end as I plot my strategy to hit a tiny dent in the profit margins I felt tired.

The past month has felt awful, and I’m ready to put it all to a close – what good would such a spiteful campaign do except extend the pain and frustration I feel?

It just felt exhausting to holding onto being angry.

So no I’m not starting a blog based on a coordinated campaign of hate.

Nor would I ever dare to expect you the reader to reconsider your purchasing decision, just because I’ve been vexed by a dopey driver who can’t successfully turn his van around at a junction.

There is no good in holding onto grudges or hate.

But what you can do is embrace the positives that no one was hurt, and make sure to shop local next time.

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7 thoughts on “What Good Is Holding Onto Hate?

  1. I spent far too long in my younger years holding on to anger and hate. When I turned 50, I looked back and thought about all that wasted life I’d lost and wished I could go back, change it all and reclaim those parts of my life I’d lost. Some people dislike the phrase ‘Move on/forward,’ but it has so much meaning to me now.

    Your post certainly got me pondering, James.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad the post got you thinking Hugh.

      With individuals who might give you reason to hate, its much better to not give them occupation of your attention.

      Maybe it’s my age but with the past there is so much I wish I’d done differently especially with those who hurt me, but I just keep reminding myself it’s things I can’t control.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Someone close to me tends to do this, wants to write angry letters to everyone. I say, “pick the hill you want to die on.” Not everything is of equal importance to get upset about. In the end, we usually are not hurting anyone but ourselves with our anger and bitterness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks – yes I think it’s important to use pick our battles wisely. I wrote a letter to my local minister of parliament yesterday, I found it quite therapeutic as I was trying to avoid angry letter writing, attempting to be measured and rational – I even put in some research about increase in driver deliveries causing accidents.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. LOL, you learned well from your dad! I know, funny, not funny. I have no words of advice to offer… well maybe add in a poured concrete wall behind the brick wall to make it impenetrable? A truck-proof wall?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s okay, I’m trying to see the funny side about this otherwise I’d be driving myself insane!

      I was thinking when we get it rebuilt we get some nice prickly bushes added, then if it happens again it will scratch up and vehicles too!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL! Very true! It’s done, so think about how to rebuild in a way that brings satisfaction!


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