Recognising You’re Enough in a World Telling You to Want More

“Enough…”

Something special happened in my career not too long ago.

After twenty years of pursuing status, money and job satisfaction, I finally got to where I wanted to be.

A state I could settle down and say

“Enough.”

To endless going above and beyond,

Pursuing the next promotion,

Moonlighting on courses out of my own expenses to get the edge,

Of petty jealousy, because someone got ahead because they dared to believe in themself to aim higher,

Enough.

Now things would change, a time I could step back and spend more time being present with my family, and focus on other things I wanted to achieve in my life.

Or so I thought – two years after I got everything I ever wanted, I realised I was more involved in my career than ever.

What happened?

There’s always something else…

Everything in this world got more expensive – food, petrols, utilities, and those things we can do without, but are always nice to have to enjoy living.

Suddenly “enough” became

“Oh, maybe I could do with a little bit more?”

When you’ve spent so long chasing something it’s a difficult habit to sit still for once and just enjoy the moment.

But when I think about it, I often wonder how I coped on minimum wage, yet somehow I did.

For those with big ambitions, sitting still doesn’t come naturally, and in a way we always like to make the excuse to reach for more, even when we don’t need it.

Comparison is the thief of joy

Often I remind myself how far I’ve come.

Gratitude is a much needed practice, because if I don’t I lose track of what I already have and what’s important.

Only the other day I was talking to my neighbour as begins his next big expensive household renovation project since he moved in three years ago.

He casually drops in four and five figure prices like he’s talking about giving bus fare to his kids.

And although I’m doing okay I begin to think:

“I should be doing more.”

But then I remind myself this constant measurement to live up to others expectations and achievements is a one way ticket to misery.

As I question why I haven’t got enough, I remind myself I don’t know the full picture of other people’s frivolous spending.

Maybe they have an inheritance, or a lottery win, or maybe they are just living payday to payday with a remortgaged house.

Or maybe, just maybe, none of it is any of my damn business and to focus on all the fantastic things I have.

Living in a world that keeps telling you to want more

I don’t think I’m the only one who has this problem.

The self-help industry wouldn’t be such a billion dollar industry if people were content with “enough”.

Everyday you can read and hear sales copy trying to sell you the latest course, or coaching to resolve a problem you never knew you had.

Only the other day a YouTube ad popped up promising to give you the nine steps that would ‘kill’ your self-sabotage.

I mean what the hell is that?

I’ve had many conversations with people who are trained life coaches, and thought the conversations would be enlightening.

They never are.

Instead you go away spending the next few days feeling like you’ve been diagnosed for a problem you don’t have.

And then you go away telling yourself you need to be more.

You don’t.

Constant chasing = misery

The constant chase of wanting more will result in a miserable life, losing focus on what really matters.

On a particularly uninspiring day I was scrolling through Netflix to see how I could kill a couple of hours.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck popped on my recommendations.

I’d always intended to read the book, but never got round to it so thought

“Why not?”

Watching this movie is a pretty good idea if you’re feeling stuck in a rut, underwhelmed, or lost where you’re going in life.

There was one scene (and I can’t quite remember the point the film was trying to make), of an animation showing a man chasing a dollar bill getting older and older, until he turns into a pile of bones and lands in an open grave.

This was an impactful image, I thought of myself spending the last twenty years chasing trying to be more.

Only in the past year have I learnt to slow it down and enjoy the rewards of my hard work.

Is it worth it to go back? Sacrifice more time and attention away from loved ones for rewards that ultimately don’t matter?

Not a chance.

Closing thoughts

Goals and ambitions, wealth and security, fulfilment and pleasure, are all fantastic things to pursue.

But where does it stop?

How can we stop ourselves?

Set your limits

When setting a vision it’s always worthwhile to imagine a limit of how far you intend to go.

This is your cut off point to dedicate to family, or pursue other interests that you want to do.

Cut out the noise

Avoid listening to the noise telling you you’re a loser, those people thrive off your insecurity.

Sure, I’m in the camp that you shouldn’t just think “I’m fine the way I am!” – unhealthy thinking if your reality is you’re living at home, dependent on your parents, a burden, look like a bloated 300lbs corpse and have a poor attitude.

There’s always some area of improvement that will overhaul our lives for the better.

But don’t let it consume you – progress, but make sure to reflect and celebrate your personal growth.

Wishing you the best in your success

James @Perfect Manifesto

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