Recently I’ve been thinking of what makes a confident person?

Previous preconceptions made me view someone with inner self-confidence as someone who is comfortable voicing their opinions. They have a tone of contempt and arrogance, being unwilling to back down on their beliefs. Typically in a group they tend to dominate and make themselves stand-out.

But my understanding isn’t technically correct as often the loudest person in the room is doing so as a front, trying to compensate for their own lack of self-esteem.

When I began researching what makes a highly confident person, I began to find the same types of attributes being listed again and again.

Below I’ve put together the following list to define The 42 Habits of A Highly Confident Person

What habits does a highly confident person possesses?

They…

  1. don’t need motivation from external sources to get things done.
  2. find happiness from within.
  3. are assertive communicators.
  4. don’t take themselves too seriously.
  5. don’t judge others.
  6. don’t belittle others to build themselves up.
  7. practice self-compassion
  8. are resilient.
  9. recover from failure quicker.
  10. don’t fear failure.
  11. don’t do things for the validation and approval of others.
  12. can carry out their duties without needing constant direction.
  13. doesn’t crave attention.
  14. realise importance of prioritising their needs first.
  15. recognise their strengths and limitations.
  16. aren’t afraid to ask for help.
  17. are persistent.
  18. celebrate the achievements of others.
  19. know how to promote their successes appropriately.
  20. don’t view the success of others as a threat to their own achievements.
  21. are ambitious.
  22. know how to push their potential.
  23. have a clear vision.
  24. have goals and/or a system for regular achievement.
  25. take opportunities
  26. recognise what they can control.
  27. are able to learn from and let go of the past.
  28. own mistakes, take personal responsibility.
  29. respect differing opinions of others.
  30. stand up for what they believe in.
  31. stand up for others who are vulnerable.
  32. choose their battles wisely
  33. recognise when they have done a good job.
  34. take any positive feedback with grace.
  35. take any negative feedback with humility and learning.
  36. can prioritise.
  37. will only say ‘yes’ to something if they can commit and/or really want to.
  38. look after their body and mind.
  39. have good posture.
  40. make eye contact and good body language
  41. will admit when they are wrong.
  42. aren’t afraid to change their mind.
Image from Pixabay

This isn’t a definitive list, I’m sure there are attributes I’ve overlooked, and some you may argue aren’t necessarily unique for someone with high confidence. Therefore I would love to know your thoughts…

  • Do any of these attributes stand-out to you?
  • Do you know someone who displays a good number of the habits? Or can you think of someone famous like this?
  • Is there anything I have missed?
  • Or anything that you disagree with?

Stayed tuned, I’m looking at writing a post on every single one of these attributes…

Thanks for stopping by.

Wishing you great success

James @Perfect Manifesto

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39 thoughts on “The 42 Habits of Highly Confident People

  1. There are some habits where I can relate but definitely not the whole list haha. Some days I feel like I can take on the world and then there is somewhere I want to hideaway. I’m not an overly confident person but I do work on it. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, ha you’d have to be super confident for all. I’m about half and half, though only just reaching some of those!

      I think there are different days, situations we have more confidence- in the workplace for example I’m a pretty good talker. In after work drinks I’m pretty much quiet hiding in the corner!

      Thank you! And appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

      Like

  2. Awesome list! I counted how many i fit under and I got 35 😇 I’m always learning and growing and I’m so excited to see how much I grow as I age. Everything is definitely a journey and work in progress!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 35 is really impressive- I never thought to count how many I fit under. It is all a work in progress, fortunately we can keep growing and teach ourselves to be more confident.

      Like

    1. Thanks very much! I’m looking at writing about more of these soon. Is there any numbers in the list of interest? I’m looking to prioritise people’s favourites.

      Like

  3. There is a lot I agree with on your list, James. 4,9,11,18,20,29,30, to name but a few, but I’m not so sure about number 13. I’ve had the unpleasant experience of working with some people who constantly want to be the centre of attention because they’ve been successful or are brimming with confidence. I’ve also witnessed some of these people get pretty nasty if they don’t get the attention they think they deserve.

    I think having self-confidence in yourself also helps, and much of it comes from other people telling you what a great job you’ve done or giving you a great review about something you’ve done. I’ve had a few instances of throwing in the towel on blogging and being stopped from doing so when I get a reblog or positive comments about what I’ve published out of the blue.

    Likewise, I loath asking for help, yet I seem very comfortable helping people out when asked.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Hugh for your comment- I’ve updated 13 to say ‘doesn’t crave attention’ as I feel confident people don’t seek this, though I have known a few a people who always seek attention, who are pretty unbearable- I’ve highlighted this to lack of self esteem.

      I actually have something scheduled to come out soon talking about highlighting your success while maintaining humility which touches on this (and some of the others on the list).

      Thanks for letting me know your favourites, it certainly helps me prioritise which ones to write about first, number 4. Not take themselves seriously is one that really appeals that I’m working on and have something soon!

      Self-confidence within self is really useful and it’s true how much of that comes from who we’re surrounded by. Like yourself I’ve had times where I’ve thought about quitting blogging – funnily enough I’ve always received an exceptional nice comment about my work, like its fate to encourage me to keep going.

      I’m the type of person who would rather spend hours researching on Google than ask someone who can solve my problem in 10 minutes for help!

      Thanks very much for your excellent contribution to this topic.
      James

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes I do! I believe my past experiences of being an outcast, quiet and low esteem, have been the driver to become the driver for who I am today.

        I believe it is fate that I get the opportunity to share my experiences and learnings to others who maybe looking for similiar answers to what I was seeking years ago.

        I believe it is my fate to continue with this growth, as I go through life facing its challenges which will allow to share my perspective with others. My biggest aim is to pass on this perspective to my own children.

        I would say there are two views on fate:
        1) someone who believes there life is mapped out for them, therefore doesn’t try
        2) the person who believes that fate is influenced by there actions allowing us to change, improve and touch others along the way with our actions.

        As you can tell I’m a firm believer in making your own fate!

        Funnily enough I had this conversation with my wife the other day talking about the difference between fate and soul mates! Is the fate we are discussing this fate or coincidence? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks for answering my question, James. Your answer would make an interesting blog post.

        Like you, I believe in fate, but I’ve never been sure what exactly it is. It’s defiantly been in my life ever since I can remember, yet I’ve never known what it is. Then again, if I’ve experienced it, surely I should know what it is?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I was thinking the same for a blog post!

        Sometimes I think with these things it’s a case of going through life, when you feel it happen you’ll know.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m exactly the same with not asking for help, I nearly set my house on fire than asking my brother in law electrician for help with putting in a new light! Learnt my lesson there.

      Its difficult with approval from others, when I really think about it a lot of my decisions are done because of approval of others.

      I’m trying to focus on my own happiness. Do you have any tips Rachel?

      Like

    1. Hi Jim, thanks for sharing your favourites- I’ve been thinking about which ones to write about first so this will help me prioritise.

      Taking personal responsibility has always been a favourite of mine, when you have that open honestly with people it goes a long way to build a relationship based on trust.

      And yes these are good for leaders, can you think of any leaders good at the numbers resonating with you?

      Thank you for your comment Jim.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am big on people admitting when they have made a mistake. I think it speaks volumes about the character of that individual.

        Herb Kelleher, former CEO at Southwest Airlines, was famous for not taking himself too seriously. I have the same impression of Jack Dorsey at Twitter. And as an anti-example, I think former Pres. Trump was not very good at 28 or 41.
        On the other hand, Warren Buffett just admitted that he made a mistake with one of the investments he made this past year.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve made it my mission to try and own mistakes – most people are alright about it and from a managers perspective they are grateful they don’t have to do a massive investigation what went wrong.

        Thanks for sharing people, I might read up more on them (well maybe not Trump, heard enoughabout him lol). I seem to remember you mentioning Herb Kelleher in one of your posts – did he challenge a rival company CEO to an arm wrestling match or was it boxing?

        If I worked for a guy like that I’d never leave!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m with you on the value of owning your mistake; if you don’t, I think it catches up with you eventually anyway.

        And you’ve got a good memory. Kelleher was the guy who settled a trademark dispute with an arm wrestling competition. He does seem like he would be a fun guy to work for.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve discovered on my own journey from starting as an anxious and depressed person with zero self worth that it’s possible to develop self confidence! I found I needed to start with teaching myself to like myself! This was a difficult task as I had absorbed only too well the negativity from people who tore me down and internalized it so I picked up where they had left off.

    Teaching ourselves to be confident will feel fake unless we also teach ourselves to like and then even to love ourselves! It takes practice and persistence, but it is totally doable. It is something we can build and return to even when we have down days, for we know the steps we need to take to get there!

    Blessings,
    Tamara

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Learning to like yourself seems to be the key foundation for self-confidence. If you can’t do that you probably won’t be good at learning all these attributes.

      Funny how the people around us can impact us like this, from my own confidence journey I realise how pessimistic some people are – no wonder I had low self-belief!

      From going through that experience yourself do you feel anyone can develop these skills, but only if they start believing in themselves?

      Thank you very much for your comment Tamara.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I believe we all have the ability to develop these skills by starting to cultivate a habit of teaching ourselves to like ourselves!

        Believing in ourselves doesn’t come naturally to those of us who have had critical or negative people in our lives as we’ve unconsciously absorbed the negativity to be able to survive and the blend in with the people who surround us. These very people may be very critical of us if we share our thoughts on becoming more positive because they themselves currently lack the inner ability to do so.

        Of course you had low self belief! You had absorbed the negativity and then retold it to yourself many times no doubt!

        I went through all that myself and saw I was continuing where they had left off, and self sabotaged myself when it looked like I would start to succeed because I had been so stripped of my self worth I didn’t believe I deserved success, so I instead perpetuated the feelings of failure by making myself fail!

        I’ve come to see we each can retrain our brains to speak differently to ourselves! This is where it starts!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks this thought! It’s really good advice!

        I’ve felt the effect of unconscious negativity- it only becomes clearer when you are removed from that environment.

        Self-sabotaging is an interesting phenomenon- like you I didn’t think I deserved success and in certain situations at interviews I found myself deliberately sabotaging my answers knowing they wouldn’t get me the job. I then used this to justify why I was in the right position!

        Thankfully we’re both in a position to recognise we can change how our brains speak to us.

        Thank again so much Tamara for you contribution to this conversation 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It’s my deep pleasure! I’m grateful to be able to now be able to see the effects negativity has had on me. I’m still needing to remind myself of my capabilities when I feel those moments of doubt but at least I’m willing to take the leaps of faith in myself where before I’d be sidestepping it!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Great list. I like the don’t judge others and belittle points. I think confidence is an inner contentment. I think confident people take responsibility for their lives, they know themselves, always improving, always humble, sure, don’t blame others, get on with it.

    Great post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing – I like the idea of inner contentment, my issues with confidence stem from the fact I have this.

      How far do you think you are from inner contentment? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I score my inner contentment on my ability to stay unaffected in difficult situations. So in some situations I am fine and others not. My confidence comes and goes. I have battled with it forever. Sometimes I am quietly confident. And others not so. But it always comes back, goes, comes. I have got better. Fear used to derail me and now I just get on with stuff. So I am mess, as you can see.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. To be fair Bella, when it comes to confidence I think most people have confidence which varys- I know from my experience talking to different personality types my confidence can drop if they are a bubbly extrovert!

        It’s good you don’t let fear stop you, developing our confidence is a continued battle!

        Thanks for your response 😄

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks will do, you too. I opened last night and had a look, though didn’t get chance to acknowledge receipt. I’ll get working on the questions this week.

        Liked by 1 person

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