When I was younger and I had insecurities and self-doubt about meeting someone, my mum would always say
“You only find love when you stop looking for it”
Despite my young naive age – I thought that was bullshit. To find someone required some effort.
As I spent time growing up and I experience rejection and loneliness my mum continued to repeat the same thing. I got little comfort in the words.
“But I want to love someone, why can’t they love me…” was the typical thought that crossed my mind.
Then sometime after years of dealing with flakes, drama queens, ‘bi-polar’ princesses and shit testers I had had enough. I wasn’t going to endure this anymore, not when there were so many other greats things I could be doing.
So the rest of my life took hold and eventually I began visioning myself spending the rest of it alone.
I prepared for a bachelor lifestyle thinking about the flat I was going to live in, to the mini gym I was going to build in the spare room.
And then it happened…
Turns out mum was right. It does happen when you stop looking
I met Vicky through Tinder and although many of would argue that I was looking, I went in with zero expectation – I had done the whole online dating thing before through OKCupid and Match. And if any other men have used these sites, they will understand about the frustrating process of trying to impress a number of low quality people.
Call me cynical, but I thought that many of the women on there used the site for validation to feel good about themselves.
With Tinder I expected the same – but we me up for drinks exactly a year ago and still going strong.
My plans have changed slightly, the bachelor pad is turning into a search for a potential family home. But many of my other goals I still want to achieve, its just this time I have a woman who tells me every night “You can do it”
And although the gym in the spare room is not likely to happen, I begin working towards the first steps in making a garage gym.