In a world telling you to keep thinking and dreaming big, aiming to be self-sufficient is a worthy goal to aim towards
This week I stayed over at my parents for the first time since I bought my own place nine years ago.
Much has changed since then, and I don’t mean the décor that they’ve put up in my old room.
In my final years at my old home, I felt like such an embarrassment to my parents, because at thirty, here I was returning home failing in my career, in debt, and not too many prospects indicating my life was going to pick up anytime soon.
Mostly I was dependent on them…
Dependent on having a roof over my head, dependent on needing to ask permission if I wanted friends over, dependent on being cleaned up afterwards and dependent on being taxied around when transport links weren’t too good or I’d done something stupid like missing the last bus home.
Returning all these years later, I realised I’d not caused much fuss, and it felt like a vindication that one night I wasn’t the burdensome son like I used to feel.
Although my parents know I can hold down a house, family, a job I still couldn’t help put prove a point how indepdent I was cleaning up wherever in the house.
Clearing and drying the dishes, making my own bed… I event went as far to wipe around the rim of the toilet seat to mop up stray splashes after peeing.
I’d come good, I was a figure of personal growth, maturity and responsibility, no longer a screw up of a man.
It felt good to know being a burden to others was something firmly in my past.
All you need is enough responsibility not to be a burden on others
“All the money anyone needs is just enough to prevent one from being a burden to others”
Quote taken from The Wright Brothers by David McCullough
I have like this quote from the Wright Brother biography by David McCullough, this was something Wilbur Wright often said quoting his own father.
There’s something quite profound, dare I say a refreshing take against the modern day money, money, money, grind-harder mentality of hustle bros overrunning self-improvement scene.
Having the views that you can make enough money that you don’t have to depend on others to live, isn’t pushing some far off aspirational lifestyle, it’s quite a realistic objective most of us can aspire towards and achieve.
When I think back to those days living at home, my dream wasn’t about being obscenely wealth, having high status and being the most interesting person in the room, it was about obtaining dignity to make something more of myself and be independent enough to stand on my own two feet.
How to not be a burden onto others
Yes, money is an important factor if your looking not be a burden on others.
But it’s also about being accountable to yourself and your actions, and doing right by those you have personal responsibility for.
You could say it’s about being able to give back to the world more than you take.
It’s hard to define how you manage not to be a burden to others – your life, is your life and we all must define our own path, but the key fundamentals to not being a burden, is ensuring you don’t always need to depend on the time, resources and generosity of others.
But… it’s about recognising when you need help
Upon research for this article, I was blissfully unaware how many people have a fear of being a burden, or feel like they are being a burden for others.
If you’re in this situation, I don’t want you to take what I’m saying personally – my intention is about focusing on setting a noble, realistic goal that has huge benefits to you and everyone around you, ina world always telling you to dream and think big.
Don’t read this and think you shouldn’t ask for help if you need it… I’m not, and encourage you to not be ashamed or embarrassed if you are struggling to reach out and get the help you need.
One of my personal regrets in difficult years is having too much pride to say I’m not doing good.
I didn’t want people to think I was a failure, or somewhat ironically become even more of a burden than I already was.
Don’t underestimate most people, they will not judge you, and many have the kindness to help out someone in need.
On not being a burden to others
Remember not being a burden is a valid goal to aim towards.
It’s about getting to a state of self-sufficiency, where you can look after yourself, and perhaps one day offer your own resources to help others in need.
Like the saying goes, it’s about aiming to leave this world putting more in than you take from it.
If you feel like you’re always being a burden to others, remember your feelings are part mindset – what you need is often things anyone would be happy to offer others.
And it’s part current state – just because you are dependent on others to help you get by and feel you’re a burden, that does not mean this is always going to be your future.
I should know – as someone who was a burden who couldn’t do anything on my own, I know it’s possible to make positive changes, create a better life for you, and those you love the most.
Wishing you the best in your success
James @Perfect Manifesto
Perfect Manifesto 
Sometimes the things we fear the most are the very things we need to work through. I look back on my own life and see that has been so very true!
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