Today I am pleased to announce that I have done my first post my first collaboration post with Angie over at Confessions of an Awakened Youth – a blog focused on self-improvement, mental and physical wellness, and spirituality.
For this collaboration, we challenged ourselves to write a post on a set topic – our focus was on “Getting over the fear of failure.”
Here is my effort below. Please let me know any thoughts and comments below and don’t forgot to check out Angie’s work afterwards (link at the bottom)
Do you live a life of safety?
Are there things you want to do, but are afraid that if you fail you will be laughed at, mocked and feel like a loser?
If you live within your comfort zone, then you haven’t experienced life for what it is.
Fear of Failure…
Showing fear of failure to such an extent that you won’t take on any challenges and risks shows that in many ways you have failed – at life.
With my personal failures, I have experienced times where I have been humbled by others, times of humiliation where all I have wanted to do is disappear and one moment where I hit rock bottom and couldn’t see a way out.
But I have been healed by determination not to quit and the passing of time. From these experiences, I gained mental toughness to keep trying new things. Every time I failed I have bounced back better than before. These are what I learnt from failure:
Grieve your mistakes…
When failures happen, you think about them – a lot. It’s perfectly acceptable and natural to grieve your failures if you learn from them.
When a relationship broke down, I spent a long time grieving what I had lost, thinking I would be alone forever. But the benefit was I found out who my true friends were, established what I wanted from future relationships and moved on.
True friends are there for you
And move on…
Moving on is important, people relive failure just as much as past glory. The former helps create that fear of failure.
I failed my driving test, a lot. It consumed me and all I could think whenever I sat behind a car that I was a failure. So, I stopped – but the failure consumed me and all I thought about was what a pathetic loser I was because I couldn’t drive.
I only resolved the issue when I pushed myself to take the risk and after nine years of failing to move on, I finally passed my test.
Don’t strive for perfection
People who fear failure imagine everything to be perfect. I have single friends who dream of the perfect “one”, being the right place, the right time, the right person. If you follow the perfect mindset, then you will never take any risks.
Recently I invested in the stock market, I was waiting for the time to buy but ever since I have been an adult there have always been terrorists, change in political scope and uncertainty in the market making it a bad time. I realised that there would never be the perfect time to buy.
Risk can pay off
No ones cares
Many people’s fear of failure is the humiliation they imagine. But the truth is no one cares about your failure.
Once I fancied myself as a stand-up comedian, there was a massive risk of failure because people either laughed or they didn’t. One night I died on stage completely, people just didn’t laugh at my jokes, even my best ones and as each joke failed my confidence went.
I left humiliated, walking into a nearby bar to drown my sorrows. While drinking a pint, I looked around, no one noticed my humiliation, there was no one gossiping about my failure – no one cared about what had just gone down, they were all too busy enjoying their evening. I would go back and continue to work on my stand-up.
You don’t have to impress anyone
Fear of failure can come from social conditioning, if you have family or friends who belittle any of your efforts and rub in your failures, then you may start thinking what is the point in trying.
I started seeing more success in my life when I stopped worrying what other people thought and just did it!
“Who do we set out to impress?
Anthony T. Hincks
A life learning experience…
Although I would rather not fail, I realise it’s an important process to enable growth and change. Therefore, if you really want to change your life – failure is something you should get familiar with.
If you fail you will get over it – the human mind is conditioned to make do with any situation they are in, that is why you see people in bad situations rationalise why they are better off.
Every failure I have made I don’t regret. In many ways, I laugh and accept it was not meant to be. Or I realised from my failure how much better things turned out because I failed. I failed at landing my “dream career” – but I got a better one.
I failed at living abroad because I was homesick and missed my family – but I came home found myself the better life I was looking for just 30 minutes down the road from where I originally lived.
Sometimes failure is good – so don’t fear it!
If you enjoyed this post and are interested in reading more about Fear of Failure, then I recommend reading Angie’s post Why “Failure” Does Not Exist