This week my wife gave birth to my second daughter.
As an expectant father, it’s scary seeing the mother of your child in pain, as unless you happen to be a qualified midwife you can’t do much to help your wife/loved one/unfortunate one night stand reach the end goal of giving birth as soon as possible.
But the second time, the situation from my perspective as the expectant father was more controlled.
Almost like the knowledge and experience I gained from the first experience could be applied to be a better birthing partner.
This was great for me, as I didn’t feel quite as completely useless, compared to when my eldest daughter was born.
I played a better role providing moral support, keeping calm, giving words of encouragement, sips of water and clutching my wife through the ‘greatest pain’ I will never have to experience.
My role was to keep a calm head – if I panicked I wasn’t much use to support my wife and might as well have not been there.
If you are an expectant father the following advice might help to be a good support:
Be supportive, do small things to make her that little bit more comfortable.
It might not seem much putting a wet flannel on your partner’s head, but your efforts to keep her cool are appreciated.
These things may seem like nothing, but my wife always appreciated these small touches and I assume most other women will too.
Giving birth is a pretty scary scenario, there is a part of you thinking “oh shit…”
But if your feeling terrified imagine what your significant other is feeling!
Simply, keep your cool, it hurts seeing your partner in pain, but don’t let any fear show.
And because it’s a high pressured situation, where things don’t always go to plan, this does not make it acceptable to be a dick to the midwife or any of the support staff, there is no excuse to create any additional stress.
Keep cool, breath, recalibrate, deliver.
Give positive words of encouragement, tell your partner they are doing well, you are proud of them, remind them of the great thing to come from the pain (i.e. a baby).
Don’t be negative, don’t dismiss their feelings,, fears and don’t tell them to suck it up!
Giving birth is scary, be a positive person for your partner.
Finally accept this is something you can’t do for your other half.
It’s crap sitting around knowing you can’t do anything expect play the role of cheerleader from the side, but this is something you have to let them do alone.
Be a good expectant father and fit into the supportive role and embrace it.
Welcome fathers old and new…
I have reached a new chapter in my life going from a father of one child, to two.
It took a while to adapt to the change of having one child, where many of my goals and ambitions got put on hold.
The unknown of having to manage two is pretty scary, but I’m confident as a father and working with my wife, we will continue to be a great team in bringing up our kids.
Perfect Manifesto is all about being a great father, fitness, self-improvement and wellbeing.
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