To meet my need to be more assertive, I decided to develop a list of rules that I will follow to ensure that I am not being a pushover.

These are quite personal to me and is a guideline on how to put being assertive into practice.


  1. Charity begins at home.
  2. Don’t be sorry when I can’t or don’t want to do something.
  3. I have an opinion – don’t be afraid to express it!
  4. I only have one life – why would I spend it doing something that I did not want to do?
  5. Do not go out of my way to help others.
  6. Challenge what I do not agree with.
  7. Do not feel obliged to support others with my money because they earn less than me.  I only earn more because I have put in a lot of time and hardwork.
  8. If someone is just being a dick, don’t ignore it or worse take it – call them out on it.
  9. Maintain eye contact and a positive body language
  10. Use assertive wording – avoid saying things like “I suppose so….”
  11. Do not be afraid of being the one to ‘Let the side down’
  12. If you know someone is being manipulative – DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT.

But don’t

  1. Argue for the sake of arguing
  2. Dismiss opportunities that will be beneficial
  3. Become content and think that there is a moment in time where I have become assertive – always accept that improvement is needed.

Let’s see how this goes….

2 thoughts on “The Assertive Rules List

  1. I really liked your point: Don’t be sorry when I can’t or don’t want to do something. I spend a lot of time at my job as a pharmacy tech apologizing for things that are not actually in any way my or the pharmacy’s fault. It’s like a reflex. Most of the other techs don’t do this. I thought it was being polite, but actually, it’s like admitting responsibility for something that I have no control over. Just something I’ve been thinking about.


    1. Thanks for the comment. Your post reminded me of another assertive rule. Only use ‘sorry’ when it is justified. There are too many times I might get in someones way and feel the need to say sorry. But why say it?


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