To meet my need to be more assertive, I decided to develop a list of rules that I will follow to ensure that I am not being a pushover.
These are quite personal to me and is a guideline on how to put being assertive into practice.
- Charity begins at home.
- Don’t be sorry when I can’t or don’t want to do something.
- I have an opinion – don’t be afraid to express it!
- I only have one life – why would I spend it doing something that I did not want to do?
- Do not go out of my way to help others.
- Challenge what I do not agree with.
- Do not feel obliged to support others with my money because they earn less than me. I only earn more because I have put in a lot of time and hardwork.
- If someone is just being a dick, don’t ignore it or worse take it – call them out on it.
- Maintain eye contact and a positive body language
- Use assertive wording – avoid saying things like “I suppose so….”
- Do not be afraid of being the one to ‘Let the side down’
- If you know someone is being manipulative – DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT.
But don’t
- Argue for the sake of arguing
- Dismiss opportunities that will be beneficial
- Become content and think that there is a moment in time where I have become assertive – always accept that improvement is needed.
Let’s see how this goes….
Perfect Manifesto 
I really liked your point: Don’t be sorry when I can’t or don’t want to do something. I spend a lot of time at my job as a pharmacy tech apologizing for things that are not actually in any way my or the pharmacy’s fault. It’s like a reflex. Most of the other techs don’t do this. I thought it was being polite, but actually, it’s like admitting responsibility for something that I have no control over. Just something I’ve been thinking about.
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Thanks for the comment. Your post reminded me of another assertive rule. Only use ‘sorry’ when it is justified. There are too many times I might get in someones way and feel the need to say sorry. But why say it?
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