Slight return

It took nearly seven months before I decided to publish on the Manifesto of Perfection again, the place I recorded my thoughts and opinions of all things self-improvement.

Last week I marked my return, where for the first time ever I featured work that wasn’t my own – a beautiful poem by Charles Bukowski ‘So you want to be a writer?’

I can’t promise it will change your life or anything, but it reminded me why I enjoy writing  – expressing oneself, relieving stress, someone appreciates your work, the natural inspiration process, artistic integrity.  I knew it was time to return.

Why the break?

I decided in July I wanted to take a break from blogging for various reasons.

The first was my dwindling passion for writing about self-improvement, reading a lot of books on the topic.  If you have read books on this subject you may understand the thrill from reading them, the feel-good glow when you finish, with great intentions of living a better life.

That feeling dies off, so you read another one, and another one and each time it produces a diminishing level of return on that euphoria it creates.

There are so many times you can read the same stuff again and again repackaged in a new format, quoting the same sound bites.

“Although we are born unequal, we are all equal in the time allocated each day”

Quote from hack self-help book #543729

This makes one cynical and as someone who blogs about the content, my greatest fear is becoming a part of the generic production line of cliché self-improvement content.

Secondly, the name of my site isn’t just ironic, I can be a bit of perfectionist.  Before taking my respite I wrote the post Why bucket lists are bad and why you should shun them’. 

This sums up my dislike for wild fantasy lists that have no substance and do not actually motivate the individual to do anything unique or of substance.  Personally, I feel it is the best post I have ever written.

A sensible person would look at a great post positively and see how much they have come along… but not me.  It was my benchmark for good writing, but nothing met the standard.

All I thought was “That isn’t good enough for anyone to read”  and with it excuses not to write came.

Thirdly my life has changed forever, I am now a father to a beautiful daughter, so my world, along with my priorities has changed.

The challenge with writing is having that space for intense concentration and commitment, something hard to maintain when you have someone completely dependent on you.  I no longer can just do what I want, now that I have so much more.

As well as my daughter developing routines, I myself am learning new routines for writing as I enter this new world.  Part of my role to her is to be a role model and  I don’t want to use this life-changing experience as an excuse.

I want my daughter to see me as someone who doesn’t give up, always strives for more and does things that I love.  If she can learn by my example, then it’s a good start.

Why return?

There are other writing goals I have, but the motivation why I started the Manifesto always come back on a day-to-day basis.

On the morning commuter train, it was standing room only and jammed so tight I felt like we were shooting the new Human Centipede movie.  Room to breath was little and I felt like the conjoined twin of the woman in front; she had an arse like a bag of self-raising flour caught in the rain.  It hovered dangerously close to my crotch, where one sudden jerk of the train could lead to a rape acquisition claim.

This gave me a really good view of her Internet habits – gaming sites, unfunny memes and mindless social media browsing – the triad of time wasting shit.  I thought it was very sad she did not have anything better to occupy her mind, though you could easily argue I was sadder looking over the shoulder and judging someone else’s pointless habits.

I wrote this blog as my motivator away from dank submission hoping in an almost God-complex way that I would inspire others along the way.  Seeing someone with no purpose made me realise  I was needed more than ever, the war on mediocrity and taking life for granted continues.  Although merely a foot soldier, there is small hope I make at least one person’s life better.

Before I turn into another shouty ‘motivational’ YouTube personality screaming at the viewer to stop pissing their life away; all I wanted to say is – it’s all going to be okay – let’s do this.


if you’re doing it for money or
fame,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.

Charles Bukowski

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12 thoughts on “Slight return

  1. Glad you’re back! I feel the same away about writing. It helps me process things going on in my life and is cathartic. Thank you for your courage to share yourself with us! I look forward to your blogs.

    1. Oh yah…and this made me LOL: “Before I turn into another shouty ‘motivational’ YouTube personality screaming at the viewer to stop pissing their life away; all I wanted to say is – it’s all going to be okay – let’s do this.”

  2. Congrats on your little princess. I get what you say about self improvement books. The only way of not getting deflate is to put into practise what strikes your heart, then it makes a big difference.

    Welcome back

    1. Thank you love her to bits. I think its a case of information overload, I have the tools that have worked in the past and need to focus on following these to a consistent routine rather keep trying to implement new ideas 🙂

  3. Congrats for the little one! What’s her name? 😀
    Well what I learned in life about everyone doing the things they want (Especially things we personally would deem as stupid and unworthy) is that if it makes the individual happy and doesn’t affect the people around them negatively, it doesn’t matter!

    I used to judge gamers at one point of my life because I used to be one in the past and my brothers, along with other more “Mature” peers, expressed disgust towards my gaming habits.

    When I started work and had little to no time to truly “Game”? (On Console / PC)
    I started seeing myself as one of the “Mature adults” and judged those who “Do nothing all day but play video games”.

    Then I started to take note of this mindset and looked around myself. I have friends who still game heavily. I have friends who don’t game heavily. Those who do though, granted, some truly does nothing but game lol but there are also those who play video games to chill- something I’m sure you can relate to as well 😉

    Just as how we love to read, watch or listen to motivational stuff on YouTube (As it fills us with hope and drive to move forward in life) these guys read memes, share “Stupid” stuff with their friends as their way of having fun and satisfying specific needs of their lives 🙂

    They feel it’s stress relieving to chill with memes, they forget the bad stuff about work and problems by sharing with their friends.

    We all do what we do for a reason, something I’m sure you know all too well as someone who reads a lot 😉

    Ultimately, we gotta respect everyone and their life decisions eh? Even if it’s something we do not agree on. After all, we don’t know what the heck happened to them that led up to that specific “Bad behavior”.

    Gotta love psychology!

    Aight cheers for awesome article and talk again soon. Till then, keep your babies safe bud and welcome back 😀

    Your pal,
    Benjamin
    http://www.projectbiy.com

    1. Thanks Ben, Sienna is her name 🙂

      I am currently writing something about individual motivation and getting peoples priorities in order. Realistically what I write would be of zero interest to that person I judged, but it was motivation to come back and perhaps inspire someone who could do with that little bit of motivation.

      I am happy to let others do as they please (as long as they don’t hurt others!) and won’t lose sleep at night, its more frustrating seeing friends do that because you develop a bond and get to know them well that you can see their untapped potential.

      Thanks very much for your comments as always and giving me lots to think about.

      Regards
      James

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